Welcome to my 2021 fasting blog! Each day I will share the experience and the discoveries of my water only fast. Leaving 2020 behind I feel it is time to open my life to my mission of being a messenger of love. I love you all and believe in you!
Have an amazing day xxx Guy
January 1st, Day 1
This is it, the first day of my new water fast.
Having done two major ones before, 9 days and 19 days, I feel I am ready to do a longer full fast. This time I am starting with a bit of Himalayan salt, magnesium and potassium supplements. No juice, tea or coffee, just straight water, hot, cold and room temperature. Maybe a bit of carbonated water, but this was during summer last time, and now it’s freezing cold with snow and – 4 Celsius!
Symbolically I wanted to clean myself of the political upheaval of 2020. I went through exhausting periods of existential stress, and heavily questioned my values. Luckily for all I came out on top and crawled out of my Platonic cave of beliefs and dis beliefs. I started a new series of videos declaring my love for humanity : 27 seconds, and today I can simply admit that mission in life is to be a messenger of love!
So the hunger after 24 hours is quite OK, no major pains or headaches. Having just published my two books I feel a great sense of accomplishment, and of being on the right path : the path of Love. Also having a long term goal, fasting for the whole month of January, and then in February, I don’t have to count the days or weight myself, these are pointless. My desire is to deeply connect with nature and existence, away from the addictions to stimuli and storytelling. These two concepts are part of my next book, which I have being exploring for the last year : the concepts of Listening & Loving & Creating
As most fasters experience, the first day is a shockingly freeing amount of time. No shopping, meal preparation, coffee or tea pauses, snacking, the whole day from dawn till dawn belongs to you. At first it may be maddening, you just don’t know what to do, as working all the time is not a solution, nor being a couch potato. I ended up writing in my journal, listening to videos of my Mentor Alan Watts and writing a new CV. As with the two books I just published I am grateful, and now amazed by all the milestones I have accomplished over the years. Being and ex-workaholic I never took time to appreciate all that I have accomplished ( hence the new CV )
And now 10pm and soon going to bed, I decided to start sharing this new journey with you with this blog. From this day I’m learning to take time out to reassess my life and value my achievements. I wonder if you do this yourself, or like me, bury yourself in work and distractions? Maybe this is what they call the spiritual journey of fasting?
Thanks again and see you tomorrow!
I love you all xxx Guy
January 2nd, Day 2
Walking up to the snow was wonderful, really peaceful and gentle.
I had an interesting night with two strong dreams. The first one I was chased around the city, until I reached the grounds of a castle. There I devised a plan to have many copies of the briefcase I was carrying, and have different people walk away in different directions. The spies who were trying to catch me got confused as I escaped! Finally safe I opened my briefcase and took out a contract. On it was a large empty rectangular space which was about leaving all past, all history, all hurts behind. It’s a Clean Slate contract. Once signed you are forever relieved of all you past and start a new life! And yes, this is how I live my life. With my book published I leave it all behind
In the second dream I was playing cards with my sister and my brother who has passed away. As we played a mysterious shadowy person appeared with a different set of cards, a very disturbing set of images. I woke up from this dream feeling that it was one of my abusers, another memory I had pushed away was coming to the surface.
This time I understood and felt safe and secure after this troubling dream. I welcomed it and was thankful to my body for releasing it. I had this experience before, that when I reach a point of strength and self assurance memories are set free. I thank the wisdom of my body for protecting me all those year. This is what this third fasting is all about: finally letting go of control, of everything, like the contract I offered in my dream.
Relaxing in before getting up I put on a lecture from my mentor Alan Watts about control and letting go. Over the years as I keep listening to it I keep discovering new deeper meanings. This time it was that when you let go, you let yourself be transformed by your environment. We are part of a much much bigger thing.
Letting go of control, of hunger, of stimulation. Day 2 is shockingly about having soooo much time that you are compelled to eat, not of being hungry, but out of boredom. There is so much one can do with his brain: after 3 full hours of work or concentration, there is no more. Even being a couch potato for 3 hours becomes exhausting! So the beauty of fasting is being confronted with your life: What do you really want with your life?
The weather was sunny and the sky bright blue, a beautiful day for a long walk in the blinding white pristine snow. So between drinking hot water, working on publishing my book online, having a 10 minutes nap, writing in my journal, watching a movie, having another lie down listening to documentaries on fasting, brushing my teeth to change the taste in my mouth, the day slowly unfolds.
I may have had a few seconds of temptations of breaking the fast, but as I wrote not out of hunger or malaise, but out of boredom. Realizing this, I ask myself : Is this really what I want, to go back at a life of stimulation and workaholic only because I am not living out my true life? No, no and no again. Life is magical, a gift, full of love and community. This is a time for myself, a real time out, and if I must feel uneasy for a few days, I am definitively worth it. Aren’t you?
So I remind myself of my other fasting experiences, yes the first three days are the ‘hardest’, and once the body has moved from sugar to fat burning, then a new perspective opens up. A new cocktail of hormones are put at work, there is no longer stress on the body as it now converts abundant fat into easy flowing energy.
Time to sign off for the evening, and looking forward to what new dream will reveal this night!
I love you all xxx Guy
January 3rd, Day 3
The Ugly Duckling
In the first hours of the night, still in bed, I ask myself what I do need to learn from this fast. I know there is no danger to my health : I have the research, the wisdom of the listening to my body, and my past fast experiences. The first one I vomited from detox, suffered headaches, insomnia and my lower back was killing me, so I stopped after 9 days.
On my second one I had none of these symptoms, and on the ninth day heart palpitations appeared so I added Magnesium and Potassium. It worked as a charm as I learned about electrolytes. I had set a goal of 21 days and as I bought food to break my fast my body thundered out: “Hey, you have the food already, LET’S EAT!!” Yes I hear you, so I reefed myself after 19 days! Today I’m not setting a time goal, I am listening and living my fast
So what am I fearing if it’s not hunger? Am I running away from something by eating or drinking stimulating foods? I reflected on my three-tier approach to life : Listen & Love & Create. The first one, listening, is about being spontaneous and accepting life as is. The second, loving, is about being my authentic self, perfect as I am. And the last one, creating, is about living with integrity and freely expressing my self.
The antithesis of these three-tier are Censoring & Lying & Coercing. This is the environment I grew up in, my youth, my teenage years and even adult life. My books shows how I managed to get out of it and create my own life. Being the Ugly Duckling I was finally able to step out of that Ugly Pond, and I realize that I do Listen & Love myself now, but I still have to get the Ugly Duckling out of me. I’m at step three Create/Coerce. This is where I am today and what this fasting period fasting is about.
Coercion, but how is my integrity challenged today? Am I forced into anything? What am I fearing? FEAR! Yes, that’s it! I am in a constant state of fear, but of what? My past is long gone, forgiven and even forgotten! I know that step three is about giving up control, control through coercion, and just expressing myself with integrity. So what was left ? I turned to my mentor Alan Watts again.
Thank you Alan, yes the only bad fear is the fear of fear itself. Fear is good for survival. It is the flashing red light on our dashboard telling us we must address some issue, but not to stay in the fear itself. Like the monk pointing at the moon, the suggestion is to look at the moon, not his finger. Luckily later in the day I had a zoom meeting with Patch Adams and many fellow clowns. They rejoiced for my books and gave me love for my fears and suicidal thoughts and opened their hearts to me. I am loved. “We are a tribe, and remember we are always here for you”
More at peace within myself, the fear gone, I became aware that instead of feeling hunger my stomach felt very acidic, and heart was beating harder. So I researched further on Potassium and Magnesium, and both act upon those vectors! Of course, there is milk of magnesium specific for heartburn, so I doubled my intake and felt better. The only challenge is the 4 o’clock hunger, this one seems to be the strongest during the day. Again the idea of food doesn’t appeal to me, just the stomach sensation is present. So a few cups of hot water seems to fill me and appease these feelings.
Finally lying down in my sheets to sleep, I thought about my tribe full of love. One word came up that had troubled me thought, Patch had mentioned about getting rid of my ‘suffering’ when I mentioned suicide. I never felt I suffered, and this was how much I was disconnected from my fear. That was it! Yes I did suffer as a child, and bullied as a teen and so much more when my sexuality appeared, but all of this was over. I had nothing to fear anymore. Not only am I amazing an extraordinary live, I am an AMAZING person! For the first time I dare say this. So I went on Youtube and found this gem:
Day 3 of my fast and already I am being transformed! Now to sleep and see you on day 4! You are amazing, I am amazing
I love you all!!! xxxx Guy
January 6th Day 4 – 5 – 6
Going great and lost 12 pounds!!!
I’ve been feeling so good that I actually started to get back to working on my book! So it became hard keeping you in the loop of my fast, sorry.
I’ve passed the hump of the first three days, where the body burns all of its glycogen reserves, and switches to actual fat burning. In the morning of the fourth day I had to be careful not to get up too fast as I would get slightly light headed, seeing lights and black outs. I knew about this from my last fasts so was ready. I’m still continuing daily with a bit of pink Himalayan salt, 250 mg of magnesium and 100 mg of Potassium.
Deepening the identification of Fear of Fear and the Ugly Duckling I reached the understanding that underlining this is the feeling of ANGER! And that actually anger made me hungry! Hungry to bury that feeling under comfort food. Maybe this is why anger and hungry sounds so much alike! So I asked myself : “What is this feeling of anger? Why am I angry?“
I turned to my three tier view of life, where Fear and Coercion are #3, and the answer came: INTEGRITY
Yes, #1 is SPONTANEITY, #2 is AUTHENTICITY and #3 is INTEGRITY. It makes sense as when you are under attack you get angry, and if you are censored in expressing your anger it transform in fear. Fear is to feel powerless to express yourself, defend yourself and just be you. I felt more of my energy coming, more clarity. Was it just the body transition to fat burning, or was it regaining my power of self-expression, or both?
Feeling a surge of energy I got back to write my book, looking for book cover designers, German translators, ordering print books of my Spanish edition El Chirrido de Los Columpios: De la supervivencia a la plenitud, Una historia real de superación del abuso sexual https://www.amazon.com/Chirrido-Los-Columpios-supervivencia-superaci%C3%B3n/dp/2925120067
With my integrity I just had to share a youtube video about our present political situation, and as you can see it is now removed. Luckily I found it reloaded on the new uncensored video channel Bit Chute. Here is the link https://www.bitchute.com/video/Qe8lciriDSfZ/
Integrity, so I also furthered my research on fasting, and found more information about what I could drink or not. Using my intuition and focusing on my body’s reactions, I experimented with chamomile, cloves and hibiscus infusion. All delightful for their taste and their added benefits in phyto elements and minerals. This morning I tried Apple Cider Vinegar with a dash of fresh squeezed lemon, and immediately got hungry! So no!!! I think each one of us has to try and listen his/her body. I plant to try more herbs, cardamon, cinnamon, maybe decaf green tea and filtered pure cocoa.
One last change before I leave you. With my energy level up I started to do some exercises and resistance training with barbells. There is this misconception that fasting is about laying down while your muscles are wasting away. While it may be true that a tiny portion might be deconstructed for it’s proteins, you will easily regain muscle mass and more in a just few weeks! So is made our bodies!
I love you all, thank you for sharing my healing journey
I love you all!!! xxxx Guy
January 11th Day 7 – 11
Love the un-stimulated lifestyle
Hello my friends, these last 4 days have been a challenge and a success story. I’m now fully functional at fat burning and found new tricks to enjoy my fast. On day 7 feeling a surge of energy I was able to work the whole day on my projects, feeling exhausted at the end of the day but with a feeling of accomplishment. What I didn’t realize then is that I would pay for it the next day.
Day 8 I felt tired and my heart pumped hard. As the day went on I felt more and more nausea, acidic and felt like vomiting. I asked many facebook group for their support and advice, and in the end understood that my blood was filled with toxins from the day before. The body has this amazing protection system of storing toxins in fat. Therefore the more fat you burn the more toxins you release. I was so happy with my surge of energy that I overdid it!!!
Fasting is a beautiful natural process, and with it comes a natural rest period. It is not about mind over matter, but mind hand-in-hand with matter. looking for a unified loving relationship. I came to realize that in our society we are used to an over-simulated lifestyle. Coffee, sugar, bakeries, social media, entertainment and more. As they say This is the rat race!
Day 9 I noticed my handwriting was changing these last days. Here are 2 pages from my journal. The top one is just before the starting the fast. Under is how I feel today. Compare the handwriting, calm, serene and peaceful, which is what I feel. Living a life un-stimulated from drinks and food is amazing.
I also keep discovering new tricks to enjoy my fast. For the nausea I suck on a lemon, amazingly the bad feelings disappear almost instantly! Chamomile goes down great, and hibiscus has become my daily drink, hot in the morning and clod in the evenings. Shopping at my local health food store I also discovered a new plant: Mountain tea. Never heard of it. It wasn’t expensive, so i figured why not try!
To my surprise I had just discovered the renowned Greek Mountain Tea or Sideritis, shepherd’s tea, ironwort. Not only it is satisfying and healthy, it is used to combat colds, respiratory problems, indigestion, and mild anxiety. It is said to bolster the immune system and is valued for its antioxidants, as an anti-inflammatory and to reduce fever. There’s a lot of research on it. I love my fast as it gives me the chance to rediscover the natural healing of my body and the richness of the healing plants around us!!! What a blessing!
So day 10, and now 11 is going smoothly. I had a period of aching in my knee and hips for a few days, and now it is all passed. I remember from my past fast that for a long periods my teeth and gums were horribly hurting. None of this this time around : what needed to be healed was healed then. And this is the big lesson of fasting. The body knows!
We’d like to go fast, we’d like to avoid pains and aches, but the body knows what needs to be done. When you choose the un-stimulated life of fasting, for a period of time your body has finally the time, energy and resources to repair itself. Somehow we are taught to avoid discomfort at any cost, but the reality is that we have this amazing self-healing potential. Most of all the pains will not last, so take in the hours or days of discomfort, reminding yourself that you are healing and that
“This too shall pass”
I love you all, thank you for sharing my healing journey