Achieve your dreams

Guy Giard Lifebuoy

Have the life of your dreams

Yes dreams do come true, but not the way you usually expect. For the last years I have built many dreams, as I have written in my last post A hard piece of Crass, but how I have achieved them will surprise you.

 

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There’s a land that I’ve heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream,
Really do come true.

What are YOUR dreams?

Success, love or recognition? I wish with all my heart that you achieve all of them. So how can you get from where you are today to where you want to be?  In a nut shell: go for what you want and never look back!

In the past I have had success as a professional artist because I believed in what I did. I asked for many grants and submitted my work to numerous galleries. What ensured my achievements were not the positive response I sometimes got, but that I never gave up. As soon as I finished submitting one project I would move on to the next one. I would let go of the results.

This is the reason of my successes: letting go of the results.

What are you not letting go off?

Would you like to ask for a raise? Ask your partner for more time together, or, actually more time apart to set in motion your passions? You can lose hours of sleep over one simple question, and yet not get any closer to your dreams. Have you noticed how asking sometimes feels super easy, while at other time it seems excruciatingly difficult?  The reason is that the more attached you are to the results the less you will dare to ask for what you want.

Why are we so much attached to the results? Well as life goes on we constantly face unexpected challenges. One solution is to apply what has proven to work. We tend to hold to these, they become our metaphoric life buoy in sea of constant change. Over the years we forget to question why we have adopted these solutions. They became the foundations of our life.

I became a successful artist because I let go of the negative answers I got to my proposals. Then I became a successful teacher by letting go of my art career. I then let go of teaching to become successful writer and speaker. Each time it might have seemed that the hardest part was going for my dream, but actually it was not. The hardest part was letting go of the life I had built!

The hardest part was letting go of the life I had built!

Philip Guston- The Studio, 1969

Philip Guston was the most important American abstract expressionist artist of his time, even more than Jackson Pollock. He revolutionized the art world a second time by letting go of his successes to the scathing reviews from most of the art establishment. That didn’t stop him!

  • What choices have you made in the past that are now the foundations of your life?
  • What have you built on your life buoy which seems impervious to change?
  • What one thing that if you would let go would make a major change in your life today?
Start the conversation by writing your thoughts in the ‘Leave a Reply’ section below!

Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.   

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

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Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

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A hard piece of Crass

Guy Giard Broken wings loveshealingjourney

Violated of my Self
I have now to violate my Self
To regain my Self

Guy Giard

I understand that this short poem is a hard read. It is also hard to write. If you want a ‘real feel’ for this post listen to Crass while reading. Their songs are playing in my earbuds as I am sitting at Starbucks, computer on my lap. (Crass were an English art collective and punk rock band formed in 1977 who promoted anarchism as a political ideology, a way of life and a resistance movement, more info on Wikipedia)

This music is “relaxing” as I am writing down hard emotions.

1 “Do They Owe Us a Living?” 0:00
2 “Major General Despair” 1:51
3 “Angela Rippon” 3:08
4 “Reality Asylum” 4:09
5 “Shaved Women” 10:47
6 “Bloody Revolutions” 15:29
7 “Nagasaki Nightmare” 21:47
8 “Big A Little A” 30:10
9 “Rival Tribal Rebel Revel” 36:24
10 “Sheep Farming In The Falklands (Flexi)” 39:34
11 “How Does It Feel?” 44:57
12 “The Immortal Death” 49:22
13 “Don’t Tell Me You Care” 53:20
14 “Sheep Farming In The Falklands” 56:54
15 “Gotcha” 1:00:48
16 “You’re Already Dead” 1:03:52
17 “Nagasaki Is Yesterday’s Dog-End” 1:08:20
18 “Don’t Get Caught” 1:10:20
19 “Smash The Mac” 1:13:30
20 “Do They Owe Us A Living? (live)” 1:17:31

Humor, writing and music have given me a voice when I had none. Heavy Metal and Punk has the intensity and rawness of what I experienced as a child. Having it bottled inside as caused chaos in my life, as in hiding behind foods with consequences such as being overweight and suffering sleep apnea. Or worse, losing my temper, once, when my older brother was beating me up. I turned on him and pinned him to the ground and started to pounce. I screamed, I cried, I clawed, I became a wild animal, unchained! I totally lost it! I was scarred and scared. I decided then and there to never let my Devil out again.

Crass in my ears is soothing as they offer a safe funnel for my feelings. Their harsh tones and aggressive rhythms are in tune with a part of my Self. Same as with this small poem. What I wish to share is the seeming contradictions inherent to the Healing Process. As the saying goes: “If you love someone, let them go” Healing comes from doing what is counter intuitive.

Healing comes from doing what is counter intuitive

Violated of my Self: When a child is abused he/she must makes sense of the Universe. He must come to an understanding, whatever it is. Since I had no one to protect or listen to me, offering alternate explanations, I came to the most natural conclusions: that I deserved it and that I was a bad person. It also meant that to feel good I had to seek the approval of external bodies, literally and figuratively. These were now my foundation beliefs.

I have now to violate my Self: From these beliefs I built a whole life becoming an overachiever, stressing about success and accomplishments. I realize that this was also my father’s dilemma. Love relationships became a mine field of unspoken expectations as I needed constant reassertion of my goodness. I carried a scorecard and checked off positive or damned myself for failures. Food, cigarettes and alcohol were the only way to disengage my control. I  have now to tear up this blueprint.

To regain my Self: Giving up what has guided me for the last fifty years seems nearly impossible. I have to trust the unplanned, the unbuilt and be spontaneous. In the here and now I am consciously living my 5 attitudes: I say YES to life as I acknowledge all that is. I have faith that I can feel the JOY and express it. I will try to have FUN as I put into action my desires. I will practice discernment as I ask was it AWESOME? I will use detachment as I choose LIFE and let go of what is not healing.  (Read the full 5 attitudes)

I choose LIFE and let go of what is not healing.

Life is the most awesome thing you will ever experience! It is an amazing gift. I know how painful or difficult it might feel sometimes, if not most of the times. With this short essay I wished to share on of the insane position you might be facing: Because you were violated in the past, you may have to violate your Self in the present.

The difference is that today, you won’t be doing this alone. Support is available with books, organisations and support groups. I know the first step is the hardest but the journey is so worth it. After all, that part of self you are letting go, actually, was never you!

You are free to fall in love again, with you, as it was meant to be. As it is your birthright.

Bless you
Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.

Peace be with you.   

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

Clowning with Dr “Patch” Adams saved my life!

Guy Giard Dr Patch AdamsGuy Giard with the real Dr ‘Patch’ Adams in Moscow, Russia

There were many tools that led me from the darkness of despair towards the light of love.  Humor was the one to make the difference!

There were the visual arts as I became a recognized professional with solo exhibitions of my installations. There was music as I composed, improvised and performed on multiple stages. And then there was the intimate journal as I burnt the midnight oil writing in smoked filled cafes. Whatever was stuck inside me was looking for a way out. It finally took humor to breach my walls.

Humor had always been present in my life, mostly in the shape of a rectangular box sitting in our living room. Mom might have had a sense of humor, but with my two brothers always at each others throats she didn’t have any respite. There was no support also from my absent father who’s life was devoted to work. The peacemaker in our home became the humorous TV shows she would put on during meal time. My favorites were ‘I love Lucy’, ‘My favorite martian’, ‘My mother the car’, ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ and so on. Fonzie on ‘Happy Days’ was my rebellious protective Big Brother.

I needed a Big Brother for protection as I had been sexually molested in my youth. Sadly it was at the hands of a sixteen year old cousin living with us.  I was only three at the time. My mother had welcome her into our household to help out with the chores. She abused of her authority and became a destructive force. Three months after her arrival she was caught fondling me and was immediately kicked out. The damage was done. My barely nascent sense of self had been violated.

“I concluded that it was my fault. I was bad, dirty, shameful and I was to blame.”

I concluded that it was my fault. I was bad, dirty, shameful and I was to blame. These feelings became so unbearable that I had to build unbreachable walls to safeguard my most inner self, what I came to call my ‘pilot flame’. The second thing I learned was that I had no outer walls to defend myself. Over the following years I became an easy target as pedophiles preyed down on me in parks, at church and at summer camp.

Back home we needed to escape evermore reality and live in a world of fantasy. My brothers and I became avid comic book collectors. Super heroes were off saving the world and they didn’t have any family to contend with. Our basement walls started shaking to the screams of Black Sabbath and the blasting soul searching songs of Pink Floyd and King Crimson. Drugs and alcohol were introduced as each of us were searching for ways to numb our pains. My brothers chose revolt, and I chose to become assimilated. I would try to second guess the needs of others and be what they needed of me. I was forever the nice quiet guy.

I was forever the nice quiet guy

As life went on we graduated to more mature comedies such as ‘Mary Tyler Moore’, ‘M*A*S*H’ and ‘All in the family’. Fonzie transformed into Archie Bunker, the rebel gained weight and exchanged his motorcycle for an old abused armchair. His revolution was now beer in hand throwing invectives at an uncaring world. Even Spiderman had family problems with teenage angst and guilt. Humor had spoiled into sour cynicism. As any drug addicts we needed to up our dose and found salvation in the absurd British antics of Monty Python. Their deadpan surrealist humor, combined with Heavy Metal and Punk music gave me the resilience to fight back suicidal thoughts.

For more than thirty years  humor, music and writing kept me alive. They helped me face countless failed relationships, divorce, living penniless, homelessness and sleep apnea as I became overweight. And then in 2012 my father passed away. The successful resilient life I had built for myself started to fall apart. The foundations of my inner walls were shaking as my “pilot flame” wavered but I wasn’t heeding the call. I was so unaware of my imprisonment that life had to knock me over. Unexpected problems arose resulting in ever increasing stress at home and work. The nice quiet guy couldn’t assimilate any longer. I left my job and faced an uncertain future. An overwhelming sense of doom slowly creeped in as I barely slept at night. This went on for months, until, I remembered having read of people getting together for a laugh. I had never looked into it, and felt this was now the right time to try. What happened next was a total turn around.

I was so overtaken by my first laughter session that I decided right there and then to become a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader. A few months later, certificate in hand, I joined the first Laughter Yoga Conference in Canada. Suddenly I was surrounded by dozens of happy people who’s only desire was to bring joy. I had never known such a positive environment and felt for the first time a desire of belonging to a family. My outlook at life opened up.

Ever wanting to add even more humor in my life I enrolled for a week long clowning workshop. On the final day I decided to take my guard down. I let go of my fears. People laughed as I truly played with my feelings. It was a first taste of freedom. My pilot light was finally shinning through. I felt a tear of release at the corner of my eye.

Months later I joined Dr «Patch» Adams on a first humanitarian trip in Guatemala. I was so far out of my comfort zone I broke down crying as we went out to our first orphanage. There was no turning back. I opened up to the clown sitting beside me and she compassionately listened to my fears. I was finally connecting with another human. As we arrived and stepped out of the bus, my eyes locked with one of the children. All my fears vanished as I became a servant to him. I felt the pure pleasure of bringing joy and happiness, and I would soon discover something unexpected. Something that had eluded me all my life: LOVE. Clowning is about love and connection.

Clowning is about love and connection

Monty Python’s absurd humor gave me the resilience to overcome adversities in daily life, but it took the open childlike innocence of clowning to finally breach my wall. A clown can face the most horrific situations, victims of war torn countries, refugees or diseases and bring solace and connection. As I continued my humanitarian trips in India and Russia my heart opened more and more. I found room in my heart to forgive all that was done to me. I found faith in humanity.

This is how humor saved my life. It brought me the safety to finally let my inner walls down.

Since I was a child I pained at all the suffering injustices of this world. I couldn’t cope with all the inhumanity I witnessed and I even felt ashamed of dreaming of a better world. I am far from perfect or healed, but today I have chosen to set ablaze my inner light and devote the rest of my life to one thing:  Becoming a messenger of love and peace.

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.

Peace be with you.   

Guy Giard 

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

5 Attitudes that will create your PURPOSE

Five Attitudes to create your amazing life of PASSION and PURPOSE

Awesome  s75.jpg

The power of YES:  I found this awe inspiring photo of the cosmic expanse of the PLEIADES.  Years ago I studied the outstanding book «Getting to yes» by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury, and more recently «Nonviolent Communication» by Marshall Rosenberg. I knew in my heart of heart that acceptance and acknowledgment were the first steps in getting out of any dire situation.

This reminded me of an incident in my childhood. We were on a family outing and had traveled by public transit to a famous oratory in Montreal. An argument broke out with my siblings and I had enough. I decided to go home. I had no idea where home was, but I remembered the bus line we took. So I walked to the stop  we had disembarked and searched for the one that came before. I saw it! And walked over to that one. And from there proceeded as Little Thumb retracing my steps. Two hours later I was sitting on the front porch of our home, waiting. You see, I didn’t have a key to the house, I was only 6 years old!

In this story you find all the 5 attitudes: first check the facts, then have a plan, put it into action, afterwards evaluate the consequences and finally decide to repeat or not. Poor Mom understandingly was scared out of her wits and had called the police!!! So in this case I did not repeat! But it showed me that when you are passionate about something you can accomplish anything. These 5 attitudes will not only assure you an amazing rich life, but will also make you discover your passions, and ultimately set in motion your life’s purpose.

These attitudes did not come together by accident, they are the fruits of years of my research in the fields of sociology and psychology. More to the point, they are the results of my successfully overcoming 50 years of personal trials and tribulations. From childhood abuse to bullying, having being overweight, divorced and  homeless, today I’ve triumphed in so many ways as I bring solace to children in hospitals and orphanages across the world. Job loss, relationship problems or financial woes, you can turn your life around. These 5 tools have proven their efficacy and success.

Here is a short summary of the 5 attitudes that have the power to change your life

1) Say YES to life! Total Acceptance: Do an inventory, whatever is, is, never say no! Give up control. Acknowledged what the other person is saying or doing, (it doesn’t mean you approve or condone it.) Appraisal: Inventory, fact check, statistics, reports, analyze, review, the current situation, trends, corporate culture, human resource, union

Guy Giard Poule et Canard

2) Feel the JOY! Total Expression: Total freedom to express what you feel and think, listening to what is present and alive in you. Find your joy and share it. Plan: Mission statement, brainstorm, goal setting, step by step plan, objectives, Pareto’s 80/20 law, sustainability and social impact
3) Have FUN! Total Action: Act, listen to your Passion, feel gratitude, the body always chooses the best solution, have faith, fun and humor, community, support, groups (Be Loved Be Lief) Action: Set in motion the new plan, delegate, set accountability, time frame, report, launch, celebrate
4) Is it AWESOME? Total Presence: Stop, breathe, listen, meditate, just be aware, un-stimulate yourself, take in. Is this what you want more of in your life? Evaluation: End of the trial period, assessment of the objectives results, human factor, partnerships,
5) Choose LIFE! Total Forgiveness: Make new choices, keep the awesome and leave the old behind, be thankful for all life experiences, grieve, let go, forgive. Hoʻoponopono. Adjustments: Prioritize the results, select the profitable activities, identify the negative returns and reorganize, cutting the losses.

 

This short description introduces you to the concept of the 5 attitudes. I now teach my clients and share in keynotes the healing powers of these habits. Each point are efficiently introduced in the business settings as well as for personal growth. I will explore these in depth with more personal stories in my upcoming book: “LOVE’S Healing Journey, TRIUMPH over life’s Adversities”.

Over the next few months I will share more tips and tricks to ease these attitudes into your daily routine, so make sure to sign up for my newsletters for the book launch and to this blog.

“My dream is that each of us lives their unique passions and purpose. Together we will end all wars and poverty and create a world of love, compassion and peace”

Guy Giard

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

Dying to be Liked

Dying to be LikedDying 3D-Book-Template.jpg

A few months ago my brother died

He was 59

On the medical report it would be written organ failure, maybe some neurological problem, maybe his liver. I don’t know. I would say he died of a broken heart.

What I did know is that over the years he resorted to substance abuse. One time, both in our twenties, I had to kick him out of the house. He was being verbally abusive to our mother. As a family we hadn’t learned how to talk, so there were a lot of pent up frustrations. I understood him, but I couldn’t stand idle while this lashing out was happening, so I told him to get out. He did.

Later, as it turned out to be, this earned his respect for me. He would throw his tantrums at the others, but not to me. He knew I wouldn’t play along. Because yes, sadly, it was a game, or a dance you could say.

How can you heal from such a dance? Over the years he had a few nervous breakdowns and was institutionalized for short periods of time. I visited him in these pale colored drab institutions. These were some of the saddest moments we’ve experienced together. Eventually he landed a job as an office clerk. He was well liked, and his colleagues spoke of him as a gentle, smiling and always ready to lend a helping hand kind of guy

His body had given out. The acidic pain of loneliness and the ghosts of unspoken abuses were rotting his self from the inside out. I tried on many occasion to sit down with him for a coffee, but he would always postpone our talks to “Later, later, when it’s warmer, when it’s summer, when there’s more time, when there’s….” Later never came. As I emptied his dusty yellowed tar-stained wall two room apartment, I could only wish him peace.

He was just 59, and he was dying to be loved, dying to be listened to, dying to be liked.

Peace to your soul, brother

Guy Giard

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!