Your story or your life, please!

Have you ever felt like: “How can I get out of here and on the first plane to…..”?

Fill in the blank with your heart’s desires: tiptoeing on a warm sandy beach paradise, an adventurous photo safari in an amazon jungle or even a trip to another planet!

I share these feelings. Sometimes, like me, you might have reached for a more pragmatic solution like having yet another cup of latte, a fat piece of cheese cake or a hot slice of sex.(or all three at once!). Our tongue is such a luscious pleasure organ!

Sadly there are other options that over time may end up as addictions: alcohol, cigarettes or worse, drugs.

Pleasure all the way!

overweight Guy

I had the good, the bad and the ugly of pleasure and pain. 

The GOOD: I chose coffee and cakes to hit a temporary bliss. I ended up out of breath, overweight and on the road to type 2 diabetes. Luckily, my health  declined  and I developed sleep apnea (stopping breathing during sleep). My wife freaked out! I changed my life choices, adopted new habits and nutrition, and got back to a regular weight. You can follow my story and try my delicious recipes at Guy The Healthy Paleo Guy blog.

The BAD: I picked up smoking to deal with the bullying at school. That was the price to pay to become a ‘cool‘ member of the ‘IN’ crowd.  Nervous and scared, I would chain smoke and drink at parties. I’d end up throwing up and getting paralyzing headaches. I was lucky though, my body had a very low tolerance for alcohol, and none for drugs. I didn’t sink into addictions. It took me twenty years to finally extinguish my last butt. (read the bullying essay)

The UGLY: A life of suicide. It was the only thoughts I knew. Whenever I am near a balcony I would feel the pull of gravity. It is a battle to not draw myself in blood on the sidewalk. Stronger then the attraction of a black hole, and yet, I had never known any understanding for it. That is, until I  finally understood “The Pull”of story.

What  is “The Pull” of story?

If you have been following this blog you know part of my story, the sad part of my being abused as a child. If not, well, I’m sorry if it’s not easy to read. My purpose in writing these essays is to bring hope and healing to others.

So what is “The Pull” of the story? Do you remember any time you’ve used the expression “I’d rather die than….” speak in public? tell my boss? face my partner? You feel pressure welling up inside, maybe hear that nauseating inner voice: “You can’t…….”.

Whatever you’d rather not do or not allow yourself is “The Pull”of the story. It is that one key word that “Pull”s you inside your story and locks you in your beliefs.

The power of the pull word!

The one key word that locked me in my story was BETRAYAL! I was under no circumstances whatsoever allowed to express myself. I couldn’t speak up, never contradict or “rock the boat”. I couldn’t show any emotions. Whatever elephants were in the room they were to be ignored. Spontaneity had no meaning in my world!

Family reunions were hell as I witnessed in silence the verbal assaults of my brothers.  My father, quiet, drank his beers, lit up cigarettes and put on the news. “That’s enough!” he shouted, his fist pounced the table with a bang. “Why don’t you behave like adults?” was his answer to my brothers increasing vulgarities. I watched in horror.

The get togethers ended as he passed away. He had always dreamed of having a “picturesque” family at any costs. Most likely this was his “Pull” words: “Picture Perfect”. That part of my life died with him: I felt the noose on my neck loosening up with no more reunions. The pull of the balcony still remained.

What was still holding me captive? My sexual abusers threatened me with words, with a knife, with killing me if I would ever tell. Opening up meant certain death. I would rather die then to tell the truth. I would rather jump to my death then betray them. So I numbed my dilemma with food and avoided standing too close to the railing of life. I made an oath to become obedient, silent and invisible. That’s my “Pull”.

When “Pull” comes to “Push”!

My brother never found his pull and died in his story. I told part of his story in Dying to be Liked. Meanwhile I went to Guatemala with Patch Adams. There I battled to become visible again, and I also found Rob. He is a policeman and a clown. This totally unsettled me as I had been abused by people in authority.

I now had to betray myself, or more exactly, to betray my own story. For decades my story held that betrayal meant instant death. I was caught in a perfect catch 22. I now had to turn the table on it.  I cried as I betrayed my unspoken oath, body shaking in fear of reprisal as  I faced certain death. I denounced the crime. It was the first time I used the word “rape”. “Pull” became “Push.

I had just experienced the process of transforming my “Pull” into a “Push”. I won!

What is your ‘Pull’ word?

Today when I feel the “Pull” for certain foods or actions I literally choose to betray myself. I answer: “Ok, this is what I feel for. I see you for what you are and I will BETRAY you and will not do as you wish!” I betray myself and I feel relieved. I  betray my story, I betray my beliefs. The pressure vanishes and I can be spontaneous. I am free from the  ‘Pull” of my story!

Do you have your own personal ‘Pull’ stories? Do you remember any time you’ve used these expressions:

  • “I’d rather die than….  ?
  • Have that nagging inner voice arguing: “You can’t……  ?

Can you recognize the “Pull’ word that keeps you locked in your story? Whatever you’d rather not do or allow is your pull word. It keeps you locked, and now, it’s time you turn ‘”Pull” into “Push” and open your life.

I believe that now that you hold the key, you can transform that “Pull” into a ‘Push’ and choose your life over your story. I believe in you!

Start the conversation by writing your thoughts in the ‘Leave a Reply’ section below!

Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.   

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

fbc348d0

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

Memory Pizza!

What do you do with your Memory Pizza?

Pizza Guy 85

Guy Giard, Concrete Pizza, 1975

1975, just fresh out of college I am now officially an art student. Suddenly I am surrounded by all these colorful freaky animals. Women with long hair and Indian dresses smoking the proverbial Beedi. I enjoy their tiny bells jiggling from their flat sandals. Hints of incense and sounds Ding ling, Ding ling as they floats by. What a change.

For the last five years I was sentenced to a private all boys college. My dress code consisted of acrylic suits and neckties. Sweaty, smelly and greasy, bullied as hell, I started to smoke to get away from my cell mates. My only wish was to escape. Now I was with a new crowd, a new species of beings. I could start to let loose with beers and smokes.

Freedom

I was all set for an amazing two years, sharing a space and not feel threatened. I could hide behind my easel, painting, peering at the other students, falling secretly in love. If they only could look or ask me something, I’ll do anything they want. And then there were the nude drawing classes. Oh my god, where do I look!

Bathing in the April noon sun, I feel the burn on my skin. My heart is racing, pouncing, bu-dum bu-dum, bu-dum, words fumbling out as I am declaring my love. Closing of the bar, 2am, I throw up as I am too drunk. Everything shifts, turns, I can’t look straight as I spew in the streets. Alone in the studio, I carve, mold the clay and light up a smoke. I spend hours and hours polishing finished works.

Memories pile up, my sketchbooks overflow with emotional stories.  I selectively choose to remember some, others I’d rather forget. Smothered in the Tomato Sauce of Nostalgia, covered beneath the Crusty Melted Cheese of Time, this Memory Pizza serves me slices of how I felt in the yesteryears.

Find your own Memory Pizzas!

Today I find myself with a fossilized imprint of my past. As an artist I am faced with a dual dilemma: keeping the works for posterity, and letting go of what is no longer relevant. As I wrote in  Achieve your dreams to move forward having dreams may be easy but letting go of what’s holding you back might not.

These past works mean a lot, but that is no longer enough anymore. They are relevant looking backwards, but not forward.  I am sure that if you look around your home you will find your own “Memory Pizzas”.

  • What is surrounding you today that no longer fits with your vision?
  • Can you pick it up and make the choice to leave it behind?

If you walk along the streets of St-Henri today you might come along my sculpture, my Memory Pizza. I’ve decided to leave it on the curb and open my soul to a new path. Will you?

Start the conversation by writing your thoughts in the ‘Leave a Reply’ section below!

Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.   

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

fbc348d0

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

 

Achieve your dreams

Guy Giard Lifebuoy

Have the life of your dreams

Yes dreams do come true, but not the way you usually expect. For the last years I have built many dreams, as I have written in my last post A hard piece of Crass, but how I have achieved them will surprise you.

 

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There’s a land that I’ve heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream,
Really do come true.

What are YOUR dreams?

Success, love or recognition? I wish with all my heart that you achieve all of them. So how can you get from where you are today to where you want to be?  In a nut shell: go for what you want and never look back!

In the past I have had success as a professional artist because I believed in what I did. I asked for many grants and submitted my work to numerous galleries. What ensured my achievements were not the positive response I sometimes got, but that I never gave up. As soon as I finished submitting one project I would move on to the next one. I would let go of the results.

This is the reason of my successes: letting go of the results.

What are you not letting go off?

Would you like to ask for a raise? Ask your partner for more time together, or, actually more time apart to set in motion your passions? You can lose hours of sleep over one simple question, and yet not get any closer to your dreams. Have you noticed how asking sometimes feels super easy, while at other time it seems excruciatingly difficult?  The reason is that the more attached you are to the results the less you will dare to ask for what you want.

Why are we so much attached to the results? Well as life goes on we constantly face unexpected challenges. One solution is to apply what has proven to work. We tend to hold to these, they become our metaphoric life buoy in sea of constant change. Over the years we forget to question why we have adopted these solutions. They became the foundations of our life.

I became a successful artist because I let go of the negative answers I got to my proposals. Then I became a successful teacher by letting go of my art career. I then let go of teaching to become successful writer and speaker. Each time it might have seemed that the hardest part was going for my dream, but actually it was not. The hardest part was letting go of the life I had built!

The hardest part was letting go of the life I had built!

Philip Guston- The Studio, 1969

Philip Guston was the most important American abstract expressionist artist of his time, even more than Jackson Pollock. He revolutionized the art world a second time by letting go of his successes to the scathing reviews from most of the art establishment. That didn’t stop him!

  • What choices have you made in the past that are now the foundations of your life?
  • What have you built on your life buoy which seems impervious to change?
  • What one thing that if you would let go would make a major change in your life today?
Start the conversation by writing your thoughts in the ‘Leave a Reply’ section below!

Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.   

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

fbc348d0

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

A hard piece of Crass

Guy Giard Broken wings loveshealingjourney

Violated of my Self
I have now to violate my Self
To regain my Self

Guy Giard

I understand that this short poem is a hard read. It is also hard to write. If you want a ‘real feel’ for this post listen to Crass while reading. Their songs are playing in my earbuds as I am sitting at Starbucks, computer on my lap. (Crass were an English art collective and punk rock band formed in 1977 who promoted anarchism as a political ideology, a way of life and a resistance movement, more info on Wikipedia)

This music is “relaxing” as I am writing down hard emotions.

1 “Do They Owe Us a Living?” 0:00
2 “Major General Despair” 1:51
3 “Angela Rippon” 3:08
4 “Reality Asylum” 4:09
5 “Shaved Women” 10:47
6 “Bloody Revolutions” 15:29
7 “Nagasaki Nightmare” 21:47
8 “Big A Little A” 30:10
9 “Rival Tribal Rebel Revel” 36:24
10 “Sheep Farming In The Falklands (Flexi)” 39:34
11 “How Does It Feel?” 44:57
12 “The Immortal Death” 49:22
13 “Don’t Tell Me You Care” 53:20
14 “Sheep Farming In The Falklands” 56:54
15 “Gotcha” 1:00:48
16 “You’re Already Dead” 1:03:52
17 “Nagasaki Is Yesterday’s Dog-End” 1:08:20
18 “Don’t Get Caught” 1:10:20
19 “Smash The Mac” 1:13:30
20 “Do They Owe Us A Living? (live)” 1:17:31

Humor, writing and music have given me a voice when I had none. Heavy Metal and Punk has the intensity and rawness of what I experienced as a child. Having it bottled inside as caused chaos in my life, as in hiding behind foods with consequences such as being overweight and suffering sleep apnea. Or worse, losing my temper, once, when my older brother was beating me up. I turned on him and pinned him to the ground and started to pounce. I screamed, I cried, I clawed, I became a wild animal, unchained! I totally lost it! I was scarred and scared. I decided then and there to never let my Devil out again.

Crass in my ears is soothing as they offer a safe funnel for my feelings. Their harsh tones and aggressive rhythms are in tune with a part of my Self. Same as with this small poem. What I wish to share is the seeming contradictions inherent to the Healing Process. As the saying goes: “If you love someone, let them go” Healing comes from doing what is counter intuitive.

Healing comes from doing what is counter intuitive

Violated of my Self: When a child is abused he/she must makes sense of the Universe. He must come to an understanding, whatever it is. Since I had no one to protect or listen to me, offering alternate explanations, I came to the most natural conclusions: that I deserved it and that I was a bad person. It also meant that to feel good I had to seek the approval of external bodies, literally and figuratively. These were now my foundation beliefs.

I have now to violate my Self: From these beliefs I built a whole life becoming an overachiever, stressing about success and accomplishments. I realize that this was also my father’s dilemma. Love relationships became a mine field of unspoken expectations as I needed constant reassertion of my goodness. I carried a scorecard and checked off positive or damned myself for failures. Food, cigarettes and alcohol were the only way to disengage my control. I  have now to tear up this blueprint.

To regain my Self: Giving up what has guided me for the last fifty years seems nearly impossible. I have to trust the unplanned, the unbuilt and be spontaneous. In the here and now I am consciously living my 5 attitudes: I say YES to life as I acknowledge all that is. I have faith that I can feel the JOY and express it. I will try to have FUN as I put into action my desires. I will practice discernment as I ask was it AWESOME? I will use detachment as I choose LIFE and let go of what is not healing.  (Read the full 5 attitudes)

I choose LIFE and let go of what is not healing.

Life is the most awesome thing you will ever experience! It is an amazing gift. I know how painful or difficult it might feel sometimes, if not most of the times. With this short essay I wished to share on of the insane position you might be facing: Because you were violated in the past, you may have to violate your Self in the present.

The difference is that today, you won’t be doing this alone. Support is available with books, organisations and support groups. I know the first step is the hardest but the journey is so worth it. After all, that part of self you are letting go, actually, was never you!

You are free to fall in love again, with you, as it was meant to be. As it is your birthright.

Bless you
Guy Giard

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.

Peace be with you.   

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

Clowning with Dr “Patch” Adams saved my life!

Guy Giard Dr Patch AdamsGuy Giard with the real Dr ‘Patch’ Adams in Moscow, Russia

There were many tools that led me from the darkness of despair towards the light of love.  Humor was the one to make the difference!

There were the visual arts as I became a recognized professional with solo exhibitions of my installations. There was music as I composed, improvised and performed on multiple stages. And then there was the intimate journal as I burnt the midnight oil writing in smoked filled cafes. Whatever was stuck inside me was looking for a way out. It finally took humor to breach my walls.

Humor had always been present in my life, mostly in the shape of a rectangular box sitting in our living room. Mom might have had a sense of humor, but with my two brothers always at each others throats she didn’t have any respite. There was no support also from my absent father who’s life was devoted to work. The peacemaker in our home became the humorous TV shows she would put on during meal time. My favorites were ‘I love Lucy’, ‘My favorite martian’, ‘My mother the car’, ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ and so on. Fonzie on ‘Happy Days’ was my rebellious protective Big Brother.

I needed a Big Brother for protection as I had been sexually molested in my youth. Sadly it was at the hands of a sixteen year old cousin living with us.  I was only three at the time. My mother had welcome her into our household to help out with the chores. She abused of her authority and became a destructive force. Three months after her arrival she was caught fondling me and was immediately kicked out. The damage was done. My barely nascent sense of self had been violated.

“I concluded that it was my fault. I was bad, dirty, shameful and I was to blame.”

I concluded that it was my fault. I was bad, dirty, shameful and I was to blame. These feelings became so unbearable that I had to build unbreachable walls to safeguard my most inner self, what I came to call my ‘pilot flame’. The second thing I learned was that I had no outer walls to defend myself. Over the following years I became an easy target as pedophiles preyed down on me in parks, at church and at summer camp.

Back home we needed to escape evermore reality and live in a world of fantasy. My brothers and I became avid comic book collectors. Super heroes were off saving the world and they didn’t have any family to contend with. Our basement walls started shaking to the screams of Black Sabbath and the blasting soul searching songs of Pink Floyd and King Crimson. Drugs and alcohol were introduced as each of us were searching for ways to numb our pains. My brothers chose revolt, and I chose to become assimilated. I would try to second guess the needs of others and be what they needed of me. I was forever the nice quiet guy.

I was forever the nice quiet guy

As life went on we graduated to more mature comedies such as ‘Mary Tyler Moore’, ‘M*A*S*H’ and ‘All in the family’. Fonzie transformed into Archie Bunker, the rebel gained weight and exchanged his motorcycle for an old abused armchair. His revolution was now beer in hand throwing invectives at an uncaring world. Even Spiderman had family problems with teenage angst and guilt. Humor had spoiled into sour cynicism. As any drug addicts we needed to up our dose and found salvation in the absurd British antics of Monty Python. Their deadpan surrealist humor, combined with Heavy Metal and Punk music gave me the resilience to fight back suicidal thoughts.

For more than thirty years  humor, music and writing kept me alive. They helped me face countless failed relationships, divorce, living penniless, homelessness and sleep apnea as I became overweight. And then in 2012 my father passed away. The successful resilient life I had built for myself started to fall apart. The foundations of my inner walls were shaking as my “pilot flame” wavered but I wasn’t heeding the call. I was so unaware of my imprisonment that life had to knock me over. Unexpected problems arose resulting in ever increasing stress at home and work. The nice quiet guy couldn’t assimilate any longer. I left my job and faced an uncertain future. An overwhelming sense of doom slowly creeped in as I barely slept at night. This went on for months, until, I remembered having read of people getting together for a laugh. I had never looked into it, and felt this was now the right time to try. What happened next was a total turn around.

I was so overtaken by my first laughter session that I decided right there and then to become a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader. A few months later, certificate in hand, I joined the first Laughter Yoga Conference in Canada. Suddenly I was surrounded by dozens of happy people who’s only desire was to bring joy. I had never known such a positive environment and felt for the first time a desire of belonging to a family. My outlook at life opened up.

Ever wanting to add even more humor in my life I enrolled for a week long clowning workshop. On the final day I decided to take my guard down. I let go of my fears. People laughed as I truly played with my feelings. It was a first taste of freedom. My pilot light was finally shinning through. I felt a tear of release at the corner of my eye.

Months later I joined Dr «Patch» Adams on a first humanitarian trip in Guatemala. I was so far out of my comfort zone I broke down crying as we went out to our first orphanage. There was no turning back. I opened up to the clown sitting beside me and she compassionately listened to my fears. I was finally connecting with another human. As we arrived and stepped out of the bus, my eyes locked with one of the children. All my fears vanished as I became a servant to him. I felt the pure pleasure of bringing joy and happiness, and I would soon discover something unexpected. Something that had eluded me all my life: LOVE. Clowning is about love and connection.

Clowning is about love and connection

Monty Python’s absurd humor gave me the resilience to overcome adversities in daily life, but it took the open childlike innocence of clowning to finally breach my wall. A clown can face the most horrific situations, victims of war torn countries, refugees or diseases and bring solace and connection. As I continued my humanitarian trips in India and Russia my heart opened more and more. I found room in my heart to forgive all that was done to me. I found faith in humanity.

This is how humor saved my life. It brought me the safety to finally let my inner walls down.

Since I was a child I pained at all the suffering injustices of this world. I couldn’t cope with all the inhumanity I witnessed and I even felt ashamed of dreaming of a better world. I am far from perfect or healed, but today I have chosen to set ablaze my inner light and devote the rest of my life to one thing:  Becoming a messenger of love and peace.

If telling my story can offer a beacon of hope to those who are locked away behind dark walls of protection, then I feel I have started to accomplish my task.

Peace be with you.   

Guy Giard 

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

5 Attitudes that will create your PURPOSE

Five Attitudes to create your amazing life of PASSION and PURPOSE

Awesome  s75.jpg

The power of YES:  I found this awe inspiring photo of the cosmic expanse of the PLEIADES.  Years ago I studied the outstanding book «Getting to yes» by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury, and more recently «Nonviolent Communication» by Marshall Rosenberg. I knew in my heart of heart that acceptance and acknowledgment were the first steps in getting out of any dire situation.

This reminded me of an incident in my childhood. We were on a family outing and had traveled by public transit to a famous oratory in Montreal. An argument broke out with my siblings and I had enough. I decided to go home. I had no idea where home was, but I remembered the bus line we took. So I walked to the stop  we had disembarked and searched for the one that came before. I saw it! And walked over to that one. And from there proceeded as Little Thumb retracing my steps. Two hours later I was sitting on the front porch of our home, waiting. You see, I didn’t have a key to the house, I was only 6 years old!

In this story you find all the 5 attitudes: first check the facts, then have a plan, put it into action, afterwards evaluate the consequences and finally decide to repeat or not. Poor Mom understandingly was scared out of her wits and had called the police!!! So in this case I did not repeat! But it showed me that when you are passionate about something you can accomplish anything. These 5 attitudes will not only assure you an amazing rich life, but will also make you discover your passions, and ultimately set in motion your life’s purpose.

These attitudes did not come together by accident, they are the fruits of years of my research in the fields of sociology and psychology. More to the point, they are the results of my successfully overcoming 50 years of personal trials and tribulations. From childhood abuse to bullying, having being overweight, divorced and  homeless, today I’ve triumphed in so many ways as I bring solace to children in hospitals and orphanages across the world. Job loss, relationship problems or financial woes, you can turn your life around. These 5 tools have proven their efficacy and success.

Here is a short summary of the 5 attitudes that have the power to change your life

1) Say YES to life! Total Acceptance: Do an inventory, whatever is, is, never say no! Give up control. Acknowledged what the other person is saying or doing, (it doesn’t mean you approve or condone it.) Appraisal: Inventory, fact check, statistics, reports, analyze, review, the current situation, trends, corporate culture, human resource, union

Guy Giard Poule et Canard

2) Feel the JOY! Total Expression: Total freedom to express what you feel and think, listening to what is present and alive in you. Find your joy and share it. Plan: Mission statement, brainstorm, goal setting, step by step plan, objectives, Pareto’s 80/20 law, sustainability and social impact
3) Have FUN! Total Action: Act, listen to your Passion, feel gratitude, the body always chooses the best solution, have faith, fun and humor, community, support, groups (Be Loved Be Lief) Action: Set in motion the new plan, delegate, set accountability, time frame, report, launch, celebrate
4) Is it AWESOME? Total Presence: Stop, breathe, listen, meditate, just be aware, un-stimulate yourself, take in. Is this what you want more of in your life? Evaluation: End of the trial period, assessment of the objectives results, human factor, partnerships,
5) Choose LIFE! Total Forgiveness: Make new choices, keep the awesome and leave the old behind, be thankful for all life experiences, grieve, let go, forgive. Hoʻoponopono. Adjustments: Prioritize the results, select the profitable activities, identify the negative returns and reorganize, cutting the losses.

 

This short description introduces you to the concept of the 5 attitudes. I now teach my clients and share in keynotes the healing powers of these habits. Each point are efficiently introduced in the business settings as well as for personal growth. I will explore these in depth with more personal stories in my upcoming book: “LOVE’S Healing Journey, TRIUMPH over life’s Adversities”.

Over the next few months I will share more tips and tricks to ease these attitudes into your daily routine, so make sure to sign up for my newsletters for the book launch and to this blog.

“My dream is that each of us lives their unique passions and purpose. Together we will end all wars and poverty and create a world of love, compassion and peace”

Guy Giard

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

Dying to be Liked

Dying to be LikedDying 3D-Book-Template.jpg

A few months ago my brother died

He was 59

On the medical report it would be written organ failure, maybe some neurological problem, maybe his liver. I don’t know. I would say he died of a broken heart.

What I did know is that over the years he resorted to substance abuse. One time, both in our twenties, I had to kick him out of the house. He was being verbally abusive to our mother. As a family we hadn’t learned how to talk, so there were a lot of pent up frustrations. I understood him, but I couldn’t stand idle while this lashing out was happening, so I told him to get out. He did.

Later, as it turned out to be, this earned his respect for me. He would throw his tantrums at the others, but not to me. He knew I wouldn’t play along. Because yes, sadly, it was a game, or a dance you could say.

How can you heal from such a dance? Over the years he had a few nervous breakdowns and was institutionalized for short periods of time. I visited him in these pale colored drab institutions. These were some of the saddest moments we’ve experienced together. Eventually he landed a job as an office clerk. He was well liked, and his colleagues spoke of him as a gentle, smiling and always ready to lend a helping hand kind of guy

His body had given out. The acidic pain of loneliness and the ghosts of unspoken abuses were rotting his self from the inside out. I tried on many occasion to sit down with him for a coffee, but he would always postpone our talks to “Later, later, when it’s warmer, when it’s summer, when there’s more time, when there’s….” Later never came. As I emptied his dusty yellowed tar-stained wall two room apartment, I could only wish him peace.

He was just 59, and he was dying to be loved, dying to be listened to, dying to be liked.

Peace to your soul, brother

Guy Giard

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

18 – Once upon many times

18 – Once upon many times

Becoming a Humanitarian Clown has changed my life. Today’s post is about how my personal life has been renewed by opening my heart to the world.

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These weeks as Christmas time/Hanukkah is upon us, I ponder what I have achieved in my life. My feelings are a mixture of amazement and forgetfulness. Sometimes it seems as if I am at the bottom of a ravine: looking up the sides of a humongous mountain, I feel a strain at the back of my neck and out of breath when considering the immensity of the journey still ahead. And yet, at other times, I sit down and contemplate the road I’ve travelled. That’s when I get amazed.

How could I have forgotten? Just before leaving for India I felt I had reached the bottom of my barrel. I felt I had emptied it of all my past, all my traumas. Yes, I still had bucketful of tears to cry for healing to complete itself, but I felt I had said it all. I also sensed that right under the bottom was a pure light of joy, love and happiness. It was just there, out of reach! I couldn’t understand why I was stuck inside a barrel! In any case I had forgotten about all this as I left on my Humanitarian Clowning mission.

In India, as I opened up, shared and discovered unconditional trust, cracks started to appear at the bottom of my barrel. Through these openings a light filtered in and there came a soft-spoken realisation: ‘I am a good man!’ I wept at this gentle revelation. Something so simple had a deep profound impact. Once opened, there was no closing of the gap, ever again. It tasted so sweet and had the freshness of an early morning sea breeze! It was grand! My bottom was about to crack open! Yet, tears of sorrow came as my journey in India was nearing its end. I was scared of losing this new feeling, this new self I had just experienced. Days later I was gasping for air as the plane lifted up. I have since been holding my breath in hope.

A month was about to pass and I had to let go. I was turning many shades of red as I was choking on stale air, and in danger of suffocating the ones dearest to me. Letting go is hard to do, and hardest when it’s close to the heart. This was one more hurt, one more heartache, one more knot in a long line of painful twist and turns. And yet this time it felt different! Not all was lost. I felt something new. Something that transcended the pain: ‘I am a good man’! The light had remained and was shining through as Faith. I now had a Faith, an unconditional trust in me: ‘I was a good man’!

I remember

I had gained some new perspective. Now I could look up the mountain, and I could also look down and appreciate the path I had travelled. I saw that my experience in India was a follow up of what was set in motion in Guatemala. There I had learned to accept my vulnerability, accept my ‘self’ as I am. Accept, so to speak, what was ‘inside the barrel’. Again, I had barely started to live it that I had to leave right in the middle of the process!

Now I could see further down the road. Sometimes I had to step over fallen trees (expectations), other times getting wet crossing a stream (relationships), or jumping over some crevices (crises). Looking back, it feels as if I had been carrying a heavy backpack (or barrel), being weighted down each step of my journey. I now understand that progress came when I felt I couldn’t go any further, when I thought I would fall off a cliff or I fell to the ground, getting bruised on the sharp rocks of self-judgment. Pain had become my motivation for making changes! I now realise that each change came at the cost of giving up part of who I was.

I now looked down a year ago, when I decided to leave work. Two years ago with the passing of my father, five years, ten years… I see happy moments, sad moments. I see dozens of the most amazing people who came into my life: lovers, healers and friends who held my soul and helped me heal and forgive. Over the years I have left so much behind that I have forgotten how much weight I used to carry. It took a new crisis to remind me of the many challenges I already overcame. Yes, sometime the best thing to do is simply to sit down and enjoy the view.

It’s time to come home

Resting by the barrel, I can now appreciate where I have been, what I have left behind, and ask myself: where do I go next? Then it hit me: I am actually sitting outside my barrel! For the first time I can see it under a new light: the light of Faith radiating through it. I no longer need it, it is empty and the time has come to leave it behind.

But what was it made of? I feel it is made of all the unspoken rules of conditional love, along with the physical threats to my life had I dared to speak up. It is made of Silence and the Laws of Total Compliance (Resistance is futile). As a person I could only manifest myself through them. It may have spurred me into becoming a visual artist and a musician. Through these non-verbal forms I could live out my passions. I still remember in my first art class how I declared: ‘I have nothing to say’.

English also became my surrogate parent: I used it to free myself from my censuring ‘French mother tongue’. Humor became my lifeline as I embraced Saturday morning TV cartoons and collected comic books. The absurdities of Monty Python and Benny Hill became beacons of hope for an alternative reality. Today, as I have chosen to give love as a Humanitarian Clown, I see all of these skills coming together as one!

Choices and changes

As I reflect on my journey; I feel it was not so much the emotional emptiness nor the physical pain that distressed me the most: it was the sentiment of never having any choice. Looking back I realise that positive changes came as a result of either making or giving choices; never from burying my heels into the ground or imposing unspoken rules.

I can now embrace change! The unknown and unexpected are becoming a source of pleasure as I am looking forward to choices! As Captain Janeway of Star Trek Voyager often said: ‘There must be another way!’ I now have acquired the freedom of making choices. Back in India, the light came as I consciously made a first choice… Am I a good man, or not? I choose: I am! And in this light, I am finally home.

As a Humanitarian Clown this is what I can now give to the world, the freedom to choose! As Viktor E. Frankl wrote so beautifully:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Peace to you all

Guy  Giard

PS: Your thoughts and feedback are very extremely precious for me. Thanks you for writing them in the ‘Leave a reply’ section below.  Thank You!  ❤ 🙂 

 

Dr “Patch” Adams writes about Guy Giard: “I truly feel his passion to live radiant, using clowning as a tool to help midwife a loving world. To hear of his own transformation to being a loving soul will inspire others to try it on.

fbc348d0

Guy  Giard is a speaker and the author of the upcoming book ‘LOVE’s healing journey’ How to Triumph over life’s adversities

 Sign up today for the Pre-Launch Newsletter by following this link and be the first to receive special reductions and excerpts from the book!

17 – Maria

17 – Maria

There are not enough words to express how my heart has been transformed by Maria. Yet this story wants to be shared; so I will try to make you live her story, our story.

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Where do I start?

A few days earlier I had just celebrated my 55th birthday, November 4th, with my new extended clown family! As a Humanitarian Clown I had joined a merry band of international lovers of humanity in India; each one of us dreaming of a creating a better, more caring world; a world where no one would be left behind. On the actual morning of my birthday I was awoken to find 100 multicolored balloons placed in front of my door!!! What an amazing pleasure!

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What a special day this was to be! Banners, balloons, cake splattered all over my face, nothing was spared to make this the best day ever! Never had I received such loving attentions! I was blessed! The days that followed I was filled with a deep-hearted soulful feeling of joy, and I would share these gifts of love I had received with the children in hospitals and orphanages. My mission was well underway.

Hot, thirsty and hungry

I met ‘Maria’ on a hot sun-charring day, typical of my journey in India since we had arrived two weeks earlier. I had set out one morning with a fellow clown to explore the chambers and rituals of the Vellore Fort Temple. It was beautiful inspiring spiritual food for all the senses. This particular day was a scheduled rest period for us Care Clowns; a day for resourcing, to integrate the many emotions we had been going through.

As we walked through the busiest, noisiest and most polluted streets of the city, we decided to take an overpass crossing the main artery. There we came across a beautiful woman sitting alone by herself on the stairs. Most people wouldn’t see her. Most people would just call her a beggar and dutifully ignore her. But as we walked up to her, we kneeled down to connect, to make her visible again.

As we sat with ‘Maria’, we sang, we talked, we gave her love and warmth. There wasn’t any poverty or disease for us, she was this beautiful woman. We brought her food, water, flowers, we prayed with her. She gave us smiles, tears and even prayed for us, thanking us in her most precious way.

Most onlookers ignored us, a few were curious and stopped, and I think one or two actually thanked us for what we were doing. The language barrier didn’t help, but between the three of us there was no barrier. Time stood still.

After many caring exchanges and hugs we eventually parted, carrying this encounter deep within my soul. Something within my heart had been stirred as I recognized parts of Maria in me.

One is the loneliest number

In everyday life I would never have dared to stop and sit down with ‘Maria’. As a Humanitarian Clown I was able to give care as part of a group, as part of an organised mission. But by myself I still didn’t feel ready. I still felt scarred and scared. I had yet to heal and learn that I was a good man. True, I was already on a world mission of giving love, and yet, there was still one person I couldn’t give to: myself! How could this be?

I had been lonely most of my life… Lonely with my family, lonely at school, lonely in my relationships. Solitude is often called the disease of Modern Civilizations. How can we today, wifi-ed and concentrated in mega-cities, be so alone, feeling lost in a bag of skin? We each have our stories, our origins, our roots, or lack there off. Sadly, we are able to function in a community of … loners… to a point… And then there are some who can’t and fall between the cracks, outside, alone in the streets. So many Marias around the world.

I almost became a ‘Maria’ myself. She and I share many common pains. Luckily, I’ve found a way back, away from loneliness towards warmth and open heartedness. Still, everyday remains a challenge, old habits die hard. At least now I have found faith, hope, kindness and the care of others like me, whom I guess may have also experienced both sides of the story. Being out of love and crossing over to giving love makes me feel part of a  larger humanity. It gives me the chance to partake in one of life’s most beautiful gift… the gift of love, and in turn, to share it around today.

Thank you Maria, thank you all my fellow clowns in India and in Guatemala. You are all part of my journey, reminding me where I came from and showing me where I am going. Today I’m opening my heart to myself, and in so am able to give the greatest gift of all: love. I love you all.

xxxxx Guy

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Guy  ‘A Good Man’ Giard  ( aka Citizen Clown :0) )

Thank you for sharing in this part of my journey!

”May the Farce be with all of us!”

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I invite you to follow all my Amazing Adventures by subscribing to this blog, and please join my Facebook page: The Amazing Adventures of Citizen Clown Fanpage.  Share with your friends and on your Facebook page, this is greatly appreciated!

Love xxx

16 – A Tale From India

16 – A Tale From India

I’m back!!!

Back in Montréal, Canada, that is! What a beautiful amazing experience care clowning in India has been, and still is as I am carrying it inside me. I’ve been overseas for more than three weeks, living away from my little family (bless their hearts) while I was being reborn in a new family of 20+ clowns.

If you haven’t tried it yet, there is no other experience like it. Getting together with like minded souls, with the aching desire to create a better and more loving world. As a child I didn’t like what I saw in the world around me, poverty, violence, suffering… I never dared to dream that one day I could make a difference. As a Care Clown, or Humanitarian Clown, I do, one person at a time, one group at a time. I come into a person’s life, and in a way, I never leave them and likewise they never leave me.

In the coming weeks I’ll write down some of the stories of the new souls I now forever carry within my heart: Aspini the young singing Gypsy of Mahabalipuram; Maria begging in an overhead staircase in Vellore; Sebastien my adopted homeless dog in Chennai, and so many others.

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My new Indian Clown family

I dream of India

But first more about me. I had never dreamt of going to India before…. maybe yes as a Fantasy, but nothing realistic. And then I left my job and jumped head over heels into the Laughter Yoga world. One thing leading to the other I ended up last march with Dr Patch Adams in Guatemala. I came back from that first experience a transformed man. I was told it would change my life, and it did, so much so that it literally turned my life upside down. And for the last six months I was living, holding on to a dream that had lasted but for 10 days. As I said in a recent lecture on my upcoming trip to India, I felt I had just lived through ‘La traversée du desert’ : an achingly dry spell.

Turning 55 November 4th in India also became symbolic of making a major life change; that not only was it possible but I also wanted to inspire others to make changes in their lives. This is now My Worldwide Care Clowning Mission. What I didn’t expect is that no truer words would be coming out of my mouth. As the expression goes: Be careful for what you wish for as you will most certainly get it!

So as I said I had been living my life upside down for the last six months, so I didn’t expect much of a change in India, just a deepening of what I’ve already been living. But I was more than wrong, my life has flipped over once again, which brings me back down right side up this time. Both feet solidly planted on the ground I no longer need to hold on to Guatemala or India, for these are my life now. The dream is now my reality.

Can’t take India out of me

While my dreams became a reality, my reality turned into dreams! India started to feature more predominantly in my sleep during the last days of our journey in Chennai. Since my return home my dreams have gotten even more vivid and colorful. During my first midday naps I took due to the jet-lag; I would wake up convinced I was still in India, and the confusion would reign as I tried to make sense of my surroundings, evoking a mixture of happiness and sadness all within a very deep emotional fog.

Last night’s dream was the strongest so far, my fellow clowns kept appearing in an out of a very confusing scenario, where the aim was to live out every experience and fantasy amongst straw Indian houses. It was a very cinematic, full HD, 3D dream in full color. I woke up feeling satiated, having had a full on if not exaggerated Indian experience. India and my fellow clowns are now truly within me.

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The beautiful children in India

My journey is for you

As witnessed in my dreams, changes happen through heart to heart connections. In India, as in Guatemala, I was blessed to connect so deeply with my fellow clowns that the change process could naturally happen. In Guatemala I had learned the new experiences of vulnerability and compassion. In India I came to experience full out trust and total abandonment of my doubts and fears. I cried as I let go of hurtful lies about myself I was forced to believe as truths since my earliest childhood.

Finally cleared of my self-hatred, I also cried when I could finally start accepting the good I had come to censure. My lonely heart was now slowly filling up with past friends and family members, along with the appreciation of random acts of kindness from strangers. As I sat by the beach, watching the sunrise over the ocean waves, I cried at the beauty of life and at the gift I had just received. I could finally admit, out loud, that I was a good man. I was reborn.

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I was reborn in India

Today is the best day

As I write these words, my heart aches to see my family in Amsterdam. I lived and studied in The Netherlands between 1987 and 1991. There I fell in love many times, discovered the real meaning of friendship in my direst hours, and had my first taste of being me. Amsterdam was a stepping stone to whom I’ve become today, to all the friends I meet, to all the Clowns I love, and to all the orphans and lonely people I’ve come to hold in my arms.

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My Dutch family in Amsterdam

This is a good example of how life works: I had to go to Guatemala, take a turn to India to be able to finally come home to my family in Amsterdam. This first blog on India is dedicated to them.

Today is the best day, “Now is my best moment…there is no other moment” as would say my friend and mentor Lenny Ravich. This is my gift to you as I embark on a new journey. I invite you to come along for the ride, share it with friends and family. Together we are creating a better world!

Guy  ‘A Good Man’ Giard  ( aka Citizen Clown :0) )

Thank you for sharing in this part of my journey!

”May the Farce be with all of us!”

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I invite you to follow all my Amazing Adventures by subscribing to this blog, and please join my Facebook page: The Amazing Adventures of Citizen Clown Fanpage.  Share with your friends and on your Facebook page, this is greatly appreciated!

Love xxx